Category: Love Letters

Leaving Louisiana

3/16/2017

Hickam AFB 2008

…we arrived in Honolulu just a few short months ago. There are only a few boxes left to store under the house and a few to empty into my hope chest that is now stored in my son’s closet. We are in a home one-third the size of our last, but we knew what we were in for and it’s been well worth it. As I tear into one of the last five boxes that are stacked on the lanai, I see the folder with the emails I had given to Steve for our anniversary a few years back. I had forgotten I had done that. We are reassigned every two or three years and each time we unpack, everything has to find a new place. The good in that is rediscovering treasures, the not so good is sometimes there isn’t room. There may not be room for my hope chest in our bedroom, but there’s always room for the treasures it holds. My Maw Maw Mary gave that hope chest to me when I was a teenager and it has traveled with me to every place I have lived. Each year new treasures are added so that one day when it is discovered by my children and grandchildren my treasures, my story will be there for them to discover.
I sit on the edge of the bed and open the folder to find an index of love letters from a decade ago. As our story unfolds in the series of messages I wonder how Steve and I ever found one another. I guess God’s Plan is God’s plan…

HOW TO KEEP THE LOVE ALIVE OR GET IT BACK! PART 1

5/14/2015

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...I feel like we are not "in love" like we were when we got married and we've lost that spark. I can't imagine my life without him but sometimes I do wonder "can I be happier" I want that affection, intimacy, and spark back..do you have any suggestions?

This has been one of the post popular “Ask Mama” questions from my blog. As I was writing my answer, I received three more questions in the same vein.

Think back to what it was like when your relationship was new, how he made your heart melt when he looked at you, how your eyes would light up upon seeing him and how your heart dropped when he walked in the room. If you are longing for those days and want to reignite the fire, think about how you may have changed the way you treat him. Instead of focusing on what he used to do, focus on what you used to do. Try behaving the way you did back then, after all that’s how he fell for you. Men see how we see them and they need to feel adored and special just like we do. I firmly believe we have to share in the responsibility for romance and love.

Pay attention to the way you react to your man. Men are reactionary. My husband reacts to my mood and emotions. If I’m upbeat, happy and delightful, he gets taken in and feels the same joy. I’ve witnessed this with my daughter and her husband and another couple they are friends with as well. Happiness is infectious! Think about the people in your life that you love to be around. Is it the mean gloomy girl or the funny happy one? Is it the girl who doesn’t take care of herself, or the girl who glows? Be pert! Everybody has their down days, I’m not suggesting that we shouldn’t be allowed to express our emotions when we are sad, but don’t let it be your theme song.

When my husband comes in the front door, I smile at him and give him a kiss and ask how his day was even though I know he won’t say much more than, “good.” Sometimes I get frisky and slap his behind or jump in his arms and wrap my legs around him and kiss him. Wouldn’t you love to be greeted this way? It feels good to be desired.

Give it a try!! When your husband walks in the door from work always greet him, ALWAYS! Smile all the way up to your eyes upon seeing him. Even if you have kids running around and everything is in complete chaos. Stop what you are doing long enough to notice the man who was there before the kids and who will be there after they leave.

Listen up little mamas, your babies will grow up and leave and you will be left with your prince or a stranger, you have to choose now because your actions today affect your tomorrow.

My husband goes to work for our family. He drives in traffic and works all day. I realize most people do this, but I understand he does this for me, for us so we have a home to live in and food to eat. I tell him how much I appreciate what he has done and continues to do for me.

Say the words to your husband from time to time, “thank you so much for all you do, I love how you take care of me and our family.” (You may work as well, but that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate him doing his part.)

It feels good to be appreciated. You can tell him and you can show him. Some men prefer actions to words; you have to figure out that balance.

Try these little things and see the subtle changes evolve. Remember, it took a while for things to get to this point and it will take a while to change. Love is patient.

If you are in the wrong relationship this advice won’t help. If that is the case, I’m sorry. I know it’s hard to leave but sometimes it is actually harder to stay. Please know every single day can bring new hope and new opportunity for change, so keep the faith.

Till next time, keep believing in love.

Mama Karen

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I'm Karen Parker...

4/1/2015

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I’m Karen Parker, mother of three, grandmother of one with another on the way. I’m married to the love of my life, Steve. We met relatively later in life and perhaps that is one of the many reasons we hold our love so dear. Like most women, I have had my share of heartache and made my share of mistakes. I don’t regret the heartache, because those experiences changed me and allowed me to grow. If you are going through a hard time I hope one day the hurt will give way to love as it did for me.

My children and their friends often ask me for advice. Please feel free to write me with your questions about love and relationships. I don’t have all the answers, but love to help when I can. Here’s a piece of advice I’ve often had to repeat.

Don’t try to win an argument.

My husband and I don’t argue. We have discussions about things, but NEVER argue. I didn’t even realize we didn’t have “fights” until it was pointed out to me. I suppose you can get used to harmony as much as you get used to disharmony. We may be used to it, but never take it for granted. (That’s my next piece of advice.)

If you win an argument, the person you love more than anyone in the world loses. Why would that feel good? I don’t want to win if it means my husband loses. I want to help resolve issues that may arise so we can both be happy with the results. Try and think about that the next time you and your significant other disagree on something. Don’t fight to win, fight for a solution where both of you can feel content.

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Leaving Louisiana

HOW TO KEEP THE LOVE ALIVE OR GET IT BACK! PART 1

I'm Karen Parker...

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